Radiance Ramblings Blog

Does your child ever feel anxious or afraid?

 

It feels like a tsunami of conversations have been had this month about anxiety in children/teens.   I have heard this week countless stories of bullying, self-harm, anxiety, depression and attempted suicide within my sphere of influence.  My heart is very heavy with the sheer volume of encounters that our family is going through.  So can we have a hard conversation?

 


 

It goes without saying that life is different now, than when we were children.  I don't want to let you know how ancient I am, but we didn't even have the internet until after school.  Shock horror... I know, I am that old!  So you might think what I have to say is irrelevant to the current generation of children and teens.  But just hear me out, I work with these precious ones of all ages every single day, and I am confident that I have a small scrap of insight to share regarding our children. 

 

 

Safe Space

 

What if we purpose to do more to make our home, car, dinner table, night time routine a safe space in our kids day?   When the world around is spinning out of control they know they are safe with us and that we hear them.  Let's make some special routines that will become even more valuable in the hard times.   It is crucial that if things are going badly at school, our children/teens know they are safe to talk to us. 

 

Creative Outlet

 

Our teens and kids need a space outside of home and school to escape to.   This could be Nannas, youth group, soccer, horse riding or...….dancing!  There do need to be "other worlds" for our children to hide away in when one of the spheres is off kilter.   If your child is artistic or creative or sporty.. find them a place to plug in and feel protected and inspired.  

 

Do It Afraid

 

One of my family motto's is "Do It Afraid".  This is one of my life messages that I live and breathe by.  As someone who has suffered from mild anxiety and low-self esteem from childhood... I can tell you that regularly... I Do It Afraid!

 

For me when a challenge is big I have two choices - say no, or do it afraid!  Each time I have said no, my world has gotten smaller, my fear has gotten bigger and I have felt like I have tasted failure.  Each time I have done it afraid, I have grown and felt empowered.  The more empowered I have felt, the more likely I am to do it afraid next time.  

 

But isn't it natural instinct to try and remove all fear that our children face?  Perhaps, but what if we empowered them to take control, use the fear and overcome it?  What if we helped them starting with little goals and little wins?  All of a sudden the desire to grow, thrive and succeed is bigger than the fear holding them back.   Pretty soon the adrenaline rush of facing their fears and winning is so big that they begin looking for the next big challenge.  

 

 

I know that every situation is different and every child/teen faces unique challenges.  But I want to encourage, perhaps even implore you, to lift the barre for our children (pun intended).  Don't expect less and less from them in case they feel afraid.  Empower, encourage and motivate them to live bigger and braver even if they do feel afraid.  

 

Lots of Love

 

Miss Sally

 

Write a comment

Comments: 8
  • #1

    Kate (Wednesday, 29 May 2019 08:18)

    What a great message. Thanks for your positive, affirming words and your encouragement to all at Radiance.

  • #2

    Tanya (Wednesday, 29 May 2019 08:33)

    Brilliant message Sally

  • #3

    Nadine Reynolds (Wednesday, 29 May 2019 08:45)

    Fantastic article!

  • #4

    Sue Brown (Wednesday, 29 May 2019 09:25)

    Such a great blog Sally. It is a big issue these days, but lots of kids have suffered with low self esteem and anxiety in previous generations as well. Your advise is spot on. Children need to be encouraged to “do it afraid,” to “jump hurdles” which gives them the courage to jump the next hurdle. It’s so important to equip your child to deal with stressful situations and to avoid stress where possible. One of the first lessons I learned as the mother of a dancer was to always have everything organised the night before a performance and to try to be on time. Dancers learn so many life skills and being part of a very nurturing environment like Radiance is one of the best opportunities any child could have.

  • #5

    Sarah Gillbard (Wednesday, 29 May 2019 09:30)

    Well said Sally, it's an increasing problem and one to care about, be aware of and not ignore. And hold safe spaces for our children.

  • #6

    Shazzy B (Wednesday, 29 May 2019 11:22)

    Thanks Miss Sally for sharing such a very important topic x

  • #7

    Leonie (Thursday, 30 May 2019 04:26)

    That's much more than a scrap of insight ! That's a terrific reminder !!
    It must be more prevalent these days but I'm sure some of it is just more openly spoken about which is good . On top of kids feeling overwhelmed they don't have to add ashamed to the list .. because it is a feeling everyone experiences at some point . I too am getting a little bit of age about me and it's something that just wasn't overly recognised in years gone by ;let alone dealt with . So this is helpful !

  • #8

    Emma Stewart (Friday, 31 May 2019 09:34)

    Great message Sally! Thank you for these timely words of encouragement. �